I've always thought that prose is for the weak. With that in mind, a welcome in verse:
Gather 'round children, and with wide eyes behold,
Arnie's tale, for the first time digitally told,
An epic battle pitting mutant marrow and shells,
Against a mounting force of Interferon and cells.
With muskets aimed and bayonets poised to tear,
This site will serve as a way to share,
About Arnie, the Battle, the glory to come,
When the virus is vanquished, the trench-war won.
So, hold loved ones close, grab pike and spear,
Gather needles, and doctors, and exotic chemicals near,
Put them to work with all deliberate speed,
For a healthy Arnie the world does need.
That's all I've got for now. I'll let the master of ceremonies, Mr. A. H. Goodwin, say the rest.