Monday, December 3, 2007

BMT Day

We, started this journey on August 18th when Dr Godley told me that the UCH Pathologists had confirmed a diagnosis of plasmacytiod dendritic cell tumor, a rare leukemia/lymphoma that little is actually known about. Since that time I've been under various treatments aimed at getting me to this day; disease in remission, body and blood prepared to accept my sister's platelets, briefed and in a curious way rested and for the moment calm.

In the intervening months I've turned everyone I love lives upside down. Mary Joe had to move me by herself while I was in the hospital. My children showed up in full support and on an instant, to meets Mary Joe's children, spend more than a dinner with Mary Joe and me and be part of a wedding that was put together in a week. SGDP rallied, Ted steps forward and engineers a plan to protect both the business and me and my family and obligations, all in another week. Lawyers, new will, agreements, change, reconciliation, thinking, writing, coming to terms, deciding how I want to conduct myself through it all. All very demanding, all very unexpected, all very confusing, all very scary. All very fast. Oddly, a privilege, a gift.

It's really, I believe, the fear we all fight off. Somehow the inconvenience and the resentments and surprises get set aside and we'll move forward as a new kind of family Mary Joe and me, my kids and hers, we'll find our voices and our way given the chance and time to assimilate it all. Ted and I will find our places and I hope to contribute to a company that I believe in and find exceptional in so many ways. Right now, we're brought together within the narrow spectrum of my disease and what it takes to deal with it, I'm praying for time later to set what's wrong right and give back to those who have been so generous and kind and loving to me and my family.

Like I said, it's a privilege and an honor to go through this, not alone in fear and resentment, but with you all, with your words and thoughts and humor and tolerance and wonder and wisdom and most of all love.

Arnie

6 comments:

Rhonda K. said...

Arnie:

Today's the day! Happy birthday! Now you can celebrate two birthdays a year too. I will be visualizing your engraftment and praying for you and your new immune system. What an amazing gift today is to you and so many people. Stay strong.
Rhonda

Mark Drozd said...

Hey Arnie: our thoughts are with you today even more than all the other days. As Rhonda says, Happy Birthday. (I wonder if you will be a tenor now?) You're in my heart, buddy. Godspeed.

Mark

Rachel Stanaszek said...

My family and I are thinking of you and praying for you in every moment today! (and everyday!)

Miss you.

Love, Rachel

Rich said...

Not a tenor. Please.

Love you,

Rich

Al Mitchell said...

Arnie,

What an honor it is to travel with you on your journey via this blog. Your insight, and your courage to share it, are courageous and impressive. Thank you for letting me be a part of this odyssey.
You are in my prayers, my friend!

Al Mitchell
(One of the Group guys.)

Peg said...

Dear Arnie,

As I read your thoughts, I am so amazed by you and so reminded of the many reasons why I love you. I will hold you in my prayers--asking God to send his healing powers and lift you up.

Love you,
Peg