Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Trading Spaces

Across the next week, even the most casual readers of "A Healthy Goodwin" will likely notice a distinct change in the tone, length, and above all else, quality of posts. I'm anticipating a significant reduction in philosophizing, a marked decline in pre-dawn soul searching.

Why, one might ask, would "A Healthy Goodwin" stray from a proven path? Why abandon the course that has resulted in legion fans from the sandy shores of Wilmette to the tree-lined streets of Oak Park?

The (temporary, I promise) changes at "A Healthy Goodwin" are a sad consequence of the metaphorical "passing of the keyboard" that took place last night. In order to devote 100 percent of his efforts to things like sleeping, drooling, being bald, etc., Arnie has elected to take a brief leave of absence from his position as chief executive officer/vision-quest guide at "A Healthy Goodwin." Pursuant to his expressed, legally binding wishes, the authorship of "A Healthy Goodwin" has been left in the eager, if less able, hands of a younger, better-looking generation of Goodwin's.

This grim news might lead one to wonder: if I'm not getting patented Arnie insights and beat-poetry styling, what exactly am I getting out of all of this? Why should I bother swinging past this archaic text-based blog on my way to Facebook each morning? Fair question, thanks for asking. It just so happens that "A Healthy Goodwin" is going in a radical new direction, offering a totally revised product lineup. After getting some strategic-communications guidance from SGDP, we've decided to "re-brand" the site as a one-stop-shop for 24-hour "Arnie Updates" (trademark pending). Expect a new logo/font package shortly.

Here's the game plan: out with the wisdom, in with no-nonsense how-is-he-feeling, what-chemical-is-he-spending-time-with kind of information. And what we lack in substance, we plan to make up for in gimmicks. I'm thinking the site needs a real-time display of Arnie's heart rate or a color-coded system that tracks his bowel movements. (As Mary Joe artfully indicated earlier today, the bowel-o-meter would probably be approaching a reddish-orange at the moment.)

Now that I've spent a lot of time talking about it, let's try out this new format for a second:

Mary Joe reported Arnie was intermittently awake, and consistently crabby, on the second day following bone marrow transplant. He is expected to be fully neutropenic by Friday, which also means that things may be slightly less comfortable as the week wears on. Thus far, no sign that his sister's marrow is doing anything other that what it was designed to do.

For the moment, according to my sources, that's all that's new in the world of Arnie. Check back throughout the week for 'round the clock coverage.

And don't despair: Arnie will be back in the saddle soon!

Zach
Interim Arnie, A Healthy Goodwin

40 comments:

Rich said...

Z,

Good work. If this works out you could change the world as a surrogate poster.

Seriously, thanks for picking this up. I look daily for updates on my buddy and I am so pleased and proud that you and Eri have been lighting up his days. Our family's love and prayers go out to all of you.

the sister said...

I'm right here next to you every step of the way, bro. just let me know when you need to make the hand-off.

unfortunately i'm not nearly as witty as you, however, i do make up for it in good looks.
eri

the aunt said... said...

Amen, Erica! You definitely prevail in the looks department!

Zach,

Shel and I loved it! I think a writing career is in your future.

Arnie,

Love, positive thougts, and prayers are aimed directly your way. While you are the one actually fighting this fight, you've got one hell of a strong army behind you!

Love to you all,

Sandi

Mark Drozd said...

Go Zack, Go. Keep those updates coming. The bowel-o-meter could have holiday greeting card aspects, merchandising potential and so on. Leave it to the new generation to take things global. Give your constantly crabby dad a pat on the pate for me.

Best to you all,

Mark

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